You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
