So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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