Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
