Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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