Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
