I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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