And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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