I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
