Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Green mimosas i think yes
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
