New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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