So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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