oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
