i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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