Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
whose parrot is this?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
