walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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