Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
