Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the condom got lost in my hair
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
