the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize