I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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