did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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