You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
