this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
