if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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