hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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