So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
