This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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