I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
