Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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