he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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