ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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