thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
