I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
