im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
she looked like the before picture.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
