return my video game
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize