So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
