Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
