I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
