i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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