this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
