I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
True strength comes from lack of pants
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize