we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
