i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
