Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hippo gnu deer
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
