He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
