I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
