i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
