Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
