are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
