dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize