what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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