My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
