Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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