His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize