i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
