New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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