is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
