16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
MIDGETS
????
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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