i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
