break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
