I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
