How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
