I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
