I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
