When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
