So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
