i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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