Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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