drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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