Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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