But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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