I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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