Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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