Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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